Trying My Patience

iPhone shortage - that is trying my patience

When they finally release the iPhone where I live, it’s out of stock within a few days, and just being gone over the weekend made me miss the whole thing.

And why do loyal Apple customers such as myself get lumped in every Tom, Dick and Harry, that have never bought an Apple product in their life and suddenly want the iPhone with the big touch screen?

There should be a loyal customer program from Apple and any subsidiary selling their products, giving people like me the red carpet treatment, and first dibs on the iPhone!

Or…the store clerk simply asks a question about Apple to all iPhone customers. If they get it right, they get their iPhone.
If they mess up, they get slapped and have to go to the back of the line.

- Who’s greater, God or Steve Jobs?
- Err…Steve Jobs?
- Trick question - Steve Jobs IS God! *slap* Back of the line!

Please don’t print this e-mail unless you really need to! - You are trying my patience.

The statement at the end of e-mails Consider the environment before printing this e-mail has is now being rephrased as Please don’t print this e-mail unless you really need to! (Like I need another exclamation mark in my life…)

Well, exactly how do you define really need to?

If I don’t really need it, I won’t really print it.

One thing I will not do is engage in the internal debate of my personal and professional short and long-term needs of printing this e-mail versus any and all real  and potential negative consequences of doing so.

And if I really really need it? Rest assured, I will really really print it!

Expensive journeys to funerals - you are trying my patience.

Why do people do this? Spend gobs of cash on sudden journeys around the globe, to come to someone’s funeral? Who benefits from this? Certainly not the dead person.

You better not spend a lot of money on coming to my funeral. If you’re too far away to drive - stay there!

I wanna see my loved ones while I’m alive. Not when I’m dead! Your visit is of no joy or consequence to me when I’m dead.

I’ll tell you what, cross an ocean to come see me while I’m still around, and you’ll get a no-presence-required-at-funeral card from me. Honest!

People not paying attention to the movie you’re watching – you are trying my patience.

When watching TV it’s somewhat acceptable to pay less attention. It is after all a machine of perpetual unintellectial superficial - imagined or real - entertainment.

When watching a rented video you paid for it’s stupid. You wanna pay and then not enjoy it? Well, that’s your prerogative, since it’s in the privacy of your own home.

 When doing it in a movie theater - it’s infuriating! One of the few offenses to which I find capital punishment more than called for. Unfortunately most legal systems don’t share my view…

My big problem with people not paying attention to the movies they’re watching is not they’re own waste of time. You know I don’t care about that! But the failure to follow the plot inevitably leads to – questions! Lots of stupid questions, none of which would ever had arisen, had they been paying a minimum of attention.

 And then they expect that the person next to them – who may or may not have been paying attention themselves – to answer these questions.

Is he the bad guy?

Why did he kill his wife?

Is that his wife?

Is that Robert Deniro? Or is it Robin Williams? (This is in the final phase of a long sad medical history of not paying attention to movies.)

This is the new that - you are trying my patience.

Pink is the new black, hetero is the new homo, humble is the new smug, right is the new left, et cetera.

Really? Let me tell you something: Shut up is the new eloquent!